Have You Laden Your Marriage With Expectations?
When was the last time you told your spouse that you love him/her? Oh, wait, you guys are married now so you don’t need to say that anymore. Is that how you feel?
Remember how many times and in how many ways you expressed your love for him/her in your courtship days. Why did you start behaving differently after you said ‘I do’? What changed? The fact that you wear a wedding band? Living under the same roof with the same goals was a dream. Now that you have made the dream come true, why don’t you find it pleasant anymore?
Somewhat strangely, we start looking at our beloved in a different way the day we get married. No, I am not referring to you noticing the little annoying habits of each other. I am talking about the expectations and a sudden maturity you expect of your spouse. Suddenly, every serious conversation seems to start with, “Now that we are married…” It sounded good in the initial few months, but later the words become a burden.
Why should things between the two of you be any different now that you are married? Of course, you have a house to look after, everyday chores, apart from your careers. But you always had your careers. So, is the common roof making your relationship heavy? No, it’s the fact that you expect your wife to make breakfast for you or your husband to do the laundry. Of course, someone has got to do it, but instead of ordering around or nagging about it, be polite. Get back to the earlier exchange of sweet words even when you asked each other for help.
Expectations are obvious in a marriage, but they shouldn’t replace the niceties and the expressions of love and appreciation in your relationship. When was the last time you thanked your spouse for something he/she did. When was the last time you surprised him/her with some sweet little gesture? It is within you to bring back the spark and make your marriage better. Get working.
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