How Counseling can Aid Transition
Layna and Frederick had recently moved to the U.S. from Germany and were having some adjustment problems. Frederick’s company relocated to America and offered him a higher paying position. Layna was hesitant at first; she wouldn’t be around any of her family or friends and wasn’t that fond of their new location in the Midwest. They sat before the counselor with very serious expressions on their faces:
Layna: This isn’t working for me. I cry every day. We’ve been here 8 months and I feel no different. Frederick is busy with his job all the time so he doesn’t seem to care as much. That makes me resent him and feel that much more alone. I want to go back and I know we can’t right now. I don’t feel like my husband is my ally either. He says he doesn’t want to hear it and that I should be more proactive. While this may be true, I wish he was more understanding. He seems like he has no feelings at times.
Layna began crying and Frederick showed little compassion. The counselor encouraged Layna to express her feelings in a safe environment and slowly began teaching Frederick the importance of acknowledging her feelings. While it was awkward at first for Frederick, he began to realize how transformative it was when he simply listened to Layna’s feelings about the move instead of maintaining a stance of resistance.
The marriage counselor also worked on Layna’s autonomy, with weekly projects that encouraged her to become part of the community in which she lived. Layna found one female friend at a charity event she participated in, which made a substantial difference for her. Layna began to let go of the resentment she was feeling toward Frederick and focus on her own new life. Therapy allowed them to check in with one another, a sort of emotional anchor, during this transitional phase.
