How Marriage Counseling can Rebuild Trust
Nothing can rock a marriage or a relationship to the core more than a betrayal. Whether its an affair, a lie, a series of lies; all spell broken trust. Some couples can’t recover from the hurt and pain while others take years to heal and release the mistrust. Marriage counseling is a helpful way to regain that lost trust since the counselors are trained specifically in this area. It’s often hard to see the forest through the trees, if you are a couple going it alone. A trained counselor can navigate the tricky waters of complicated feelings that surround betrayal.
One aspect a counselor may address is adjusting expectations. Often we enter into a relationship with high expectations. Once we are let down, we tend to lose trust. In a sense, when someone lets us down, we see this as a form of betrayal.
Here’s what one counselor has to say:
Adjust your expectations
People are human, frail, and sinful. Therefore, you need a realistic type of trust when you choose to trust someone. Trusting grows in relationships over time because as you spend time together with someone you build knowledge, understanding and authenticity. You gain insight into another person’s character, needs, motivations and fears.
Unconditional love develops trust because as you express this kind of love towards someone — generally he or she will sense your acceptance and feel comfortable to be vulnerable and honest about their feelings. Unconditional love actually builds self-esteem in others and alleviates
their fears of rejection. People learn that they can be authentic with you about their feelings, opinions, and failures. The result is a growing trust in the other person. Not because that person is perfect but because that person is growing in honesty.
Love can elicit a substantial amount of fears and anxiety in best of us. When you learn to face those fears and calibrate your expectations in a normal, healthy manner, you not only heal your relationship but yourself.
