Individual Problems that Lead to Couples Counseling
James was exasperated by the time he entered couples counseling with his wife Liz. Liz was suffering from anorexia nervosa and currently weight 102 pounds. James had encouraged Liz to enter counseling on her own but she refused. She did, however, agree to couples counseling, when James explained that this was taking a toll on their marriage.
Liz sat quietly, arms folded, during the first session as James explained the chronology of events: James had met Liz at a law firm 6 years ago. She was always a light eater but since their marriage, she became worse, sometimes barely eating a meal a day. Presently, James stated, he didn’t know when or if she was eating, other than carrot sticks and lettuce with some olive oil and lemon juice.
While this would appear to be a problem Liz needed to work through with an individual counselor (which she eventually did), there finally arose a mutual component that the marriage counselor could address.
Liz finally revealed that James was very controlling and reminded Liz of her mother. The more he controlled and oversaw what she ate, the less she wanted to. Control can often be a key element in anorexia.
The counselor worked on ways that James could retract and express his concern in more loving ways. Liz pursued years worth of counseling for a problem that she had kept hidden most of her life. Eating disorders can be very difficult to treat but are manageable after considerable therapeutic work.
Marriage counseling can be many layered. Some issues, such as a controlling dynamic between the couple, can be managed within couples counseling. Occasionally, individual therapy is needed as an adjunct.
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- Couples Counseling for the Silent Problems
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- Releasing your Problems to a Couples Counselor
