Irreconcilable Differences - When a Problem is too Great
Marriage counseling has helped many couple work through complex problems, ranging from infidelity to addiction to sexuality issues. On paper, some of these problems seem too big to move past but two people who are willing to make changes have an incredible amount of power. But there are times when problems or differences are considered irreconcilable.
Frank and Maria were in such a predicament. They had been in it since the beginning of their relationship and it was a common one, experienced by therapists many times. Maria wanted children, lots of them. Frank didn’t want children at all. He confessed that “he didn’t even like children very much.” Maria had hoped they would grow past this problem. They had been dating since their teen years and she figured that as they grew older, his viewpoint would change. It didn’t.
After 3 months of counseling, the therapist knew he was up against a very real problem. This couple may not be able to work past this problem. Neither was willing to adjust their view nor did he think they should. He gave them several possibilities as to ways they could possibly co-exist with this major difference of opinion but they knew, like he knew, these options were limited.
The couple began legally separating but continued to pursue therapy. They were both very close, regardless of this difference and wanted to make sure their closure was done peacefully and would allow for contact in the future.
Couples counseling often helps couples separate when needed but the focus is on how to do that in a open, communicative way. This often paves the way for a separate, happier future for both parties.
