Is it Time for a Marriage Counselor?
All marriages have their ups and downs, as do all relationships. Ebbs and flows are a natural part of human connectedness. So how do you know when you’ve moved beyond those commons problems to ones that may need the aid of a marriage counselor?
First, you’ll notice that you and your partner have less and less in common. It’s as if you are sleeping next to a stranger. You literally feel the distance growing. Again, some distance is normal but when it’s chronic, over extended periods of time, it may be time to see a therapist.
Second, you begin to notice a constant, critical nature emerging from you or your partner. You can’t seem to do anything right! Criticism has begun to replace support and pride in your partner. Contempt is a dangerous element to any marriage and needs to be looked at very seriously. It doesn’t tend to go away on it’s own.
Another change you may see in your marriage that indicate the need for help is the growing awareness that your partner gladly shares information with others that you are no longer privy to. That “last to know” feeling. This indicates your partner has ceased to feel comfortable sharing even minor details about his/her life with you.
There are other factors that can indicate a failing marriage but the ones above give you an idea if its time to seek some outside help. If you’re not sure, a few sessions with a therapist can clarify whether your issues are “par for the course” or whether they’ve grown to a point where outside help could really make a difference.
