The Marriage Counseling Blog

In this busy day and age, its often difficult to make the time for couples counseling let alone recognize the signs that you may really need it. Who has time to make for another appointment throughout an already stressful, packed week? And do you really need it? Maybe you’re not talking to your spouse that much but you’re not really fighting. Maybe you seem to be getting along fine but your sex life has been non-existent.

Only you and your partner really know the answers to these questions. Long-term relationships certainly have their ebbs and flows, but if your “ebb” has become chronic, it may be time to schedule an appointment. Meeting with a couples counselor is often rejuvenating for a couple, even when they haven’t gotten to a dire state. And often, there is also a “point of no return” if you do have a problem and you wait too long.

Here are some general signs you may want to look out for:

* In your mind, your spouse just can’t do anything right anymore.

* You fight constantly.

* You’ve lost the ability or the willingness to resolve your marital problems.

* Resentment and contempt have replaced patience and love.

* You’ve turned from lovers into roommates.

* One or both of you is having an affair.

* You go out of your way to avoid being together and, when you are together, you have nothing to talk about.

* Your children are reacting to the stress in your marriage by fighting more, having difficulty in school, getting into trouble with the police, abusing drugs or alcohol, or becoming sexually promiscuous.

* You have begun having thoughts about divorce.

This doesn’t mean you should panic if you nod you’re head to the points above. Like any other problem, there are correct and incorrect ways to address it. Burying your head and avoiding it may feel good at the time, but problems and resentments often compound. When years go and you’re experiencing the same signs, you do increase the likelihood of divorce.

But most couples stand a “fighting chance” (for lack of a better word!) if they visit with a marriage counselor before it gets too late.