Learning to Have Fun Again through Couples Counseling
When Frank and Lisa entered the office of their new couples counselor, it was evident they were both quite anxious. Not so much to sit before a marriage counselor, but they feared the worst: their marriage was over. Frank shared with the counselor the many ways he’s been working on his marriage, trying almost too hard to reconnect with his wife. Their many attempts to participate in activities they previously enjoyed continued to backfire.
Lisa apprehensively spoke first:
We’ve been trying to save our marriage, trying to enjoy one another…but its not working. Somehow, its like we forgot how to simply appreciate the other’s company, to have fun. When we first started dating, that’s all we did was have fun. We were both troublemakers but we never meant any harm. So we were constantly playing tricks on people or daring each other to do something wild. Now its like a deep-freeze has settled over our marriage. We both feel it and we don’t know if there’s anything we can do about it.
The counselor went to work with the couple, attempting to uncover where this “deep freeze” occurred and when it began. He also encouraged them to stop pushing when it didn’t feel natural, that it was only serving to validate fears. After months of therapy, finally both expressed some long-held resentment that had been harbored and fostered for years. Tears and anger were expressed. It was only after some healing took place that the fun they had experienced years before could return.
