The Marriage Counseling Blog

Many of us have seen how laughter can transform difficult situations. It allows us to see our situation from a more humorous perspective, making it more manageable. It also, as in the case of couples counseling, allows us to share a moment with our partner, one that is bonding and warm.

Leslie uses this example:

Jim and I were so angry with one another, we could barely sit in the same room. Everyone could feel the tension: our kids, our friends. It wasn’t until we started marriage counseling that the ice began to break. I was telling the counselor how upset I was with Jim, how I had asked him to fix the talking Santa we put up each year and how he refused to fix it because he said the damn thing was annoying anyway.

So I’m close to tears telling this story, because I think its another example of how Jim ignores my needs and suddenly, Jim starts laughing. I asked him what was so funny and he just burst into laughter. “That talking Santa should not be the cause of any marital problems.” Then I started laughing. And the counselor started laughing. Pretty soon, the whole thing seemed ridiculous. It was the first time Jim and I had laughed together in years.

While Jim and Leslie had serious issues to work out with their counselor, the power of laughter had diffused some of their overt hostility and anxiety they felt with one another. It allowed them a little perspective on a difficult situation. And it allowed them to share a moment together, for the first time in a while.

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• Laughter In Marriage and Life
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• The Art of Letting Go through Couples Counseling
• Couples Counseling is Hard Work