Living with the Anxiety of Marital Problems
Many couples are very anxious when it comes to marriage counseling. They fear their words will be manipulated or used against them. Or perhaps their counselor will take sides and they’ll feel victimized. Of course, these fears are generally unfounded. Once you enter counseling, help is on its way. You no longer have to suffer in private.
Most of the real anxiety exists when you choose to endure problems in your marriage or relationship without having them professionally addressed. Sometimes this chronic, long-standing anxiety can last for years. So of course, it’s ironic that therapy produces such concerns. Many times, couples are living in the most mentally straining situations possible in the first place.
Let’s say you live with a moody, temperamental partner. Perhaps they have an addiction or physiological problem. Whenever you address the problem with your partner, it leads to an eruption. So after years, you learn to withstand, tolerate and generally “walk on eggshells.” You find yourself more anxious than you ever have been, your work performance suffers, you stop socializing as much. Your friends ask you about these changes and you tell them everything’s alright.
Walking in your front door produces anxiety. You wonder when “the other shoe is going to drop.” You lose all ability to be assertive because you’re lacking assertiveness in such a primary relationship. Your health begins to suffer.
These can be all the repercussions of simply “tolerating” an unhealthy marital situation. Maybe it’s time to talk about your marriage, openly, with a professional who can show you that there is, in fact, other ways to live.
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