Long Marriages and Short Arguments
Older couples who have weathered the storms of multi-decade relationships are often asked for advice on “how they made it.” While no two couples are alike, and advice that will work for one couple may not work for another, there are some common themes among elderly couples who have been happily married for 30,40 sometimes 50 years.
Esther said:
Like any other couple, we’ve had our ups and downs at times. We once spent 4 years on a down! We haven’t ridden through 55 years on a cloud of bliss, not at all. But the fact is we have always remained committed to each other. We have a lot of fun and my husband is my best friend. He still has a great sense of humor and makes me laugh.
Esther is describing the common sequences in many marriages, especially the extended period of time when they were struggling for their relationship. While many people would have given up and walked away, this couple didn’t, and found happiness as a result.
So what arguments did they have, and how did they change over the years?
We argue about the same things now that we did when we were first married. Who’s going to do the dishes, who’s going to walk the dog, who gets to pick the movie to watch. For a while, when we were younger, those arguments go really mean, but over the years we can settle into the knowledge that these are little things, worthy of little arguments, not big ones.
Finding the key to a long marriage can seem much more simple when you look at it that way.
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