Losing Self-Esteem in Marriage
“He makes me feel like a queen.” “She makes me feel so good about myself.” No, this doesn’t just happen in movies. It happens to real couples. It is the falling-in-love phase. A romantic relationship is supposed to make you feel good. So, when the relationship starts making you feel bad about yourself, there is something wrong somewhere.
I remember meeting a lady a few years ago whose husband was having an affair. When the lady learned about the affair, her first words were, “Where did I go wrong?” While those words reflected her grief, I wondered if this is how people react when their spouses stray. Do people blame themselves? Unfortunately, many do. There is this underlying sense of low self esteem that makes them think they must have been wrong.
The low self esteem may also lead to depression, making the relationship worse. It is important for both spouses to understand that shaming or criticizing one another can only do harm. You may be slowly pushing your spouse to depression or killing your relationship. If you notice that your spouse is no longer the one whose amazing personality had swept you off your feet, while you may not necessarily be the reason of his/her plight, you have to make sure you do not worsen it. In fact, you have to take action. Convince him/her to see a counselor.
It is important you become the partner you had promised to be, especially at this phase of your spouse’s life. A little help and understanding from you will make your marriage healthy and happy.
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