Love (and Counseling) the Second Time Around
Felicia was taking no chances after her second marriage. She set up an appointment with a marriage counselor the second week after her wedding! According to Felicia:
Look, I know I love Sam. That’s not the issue. I just squabbled with my ex-husband for the last decade and I didn’t want to take any chances…or waste any more time. I just wanted to lay down the groundwork for good communication.
According to Sam:
I thought she was going a little far. She and I haven’t had as much as an argument in the last year and a half. Though I’m surprised - once we started talking to Chuck, our counselor, I realized I was swallowing a lot. I’m not the confrontational type, so most of the time I let Felicia “win.” I didn’t see that this wasn’t healthy and I found myself having to learn new ways to express myself…and stand up to her, frankly!
It doesn’t matter what stage of life you’re in, whether you’ve been married several times or you just graduated college and married your high school sweetheart, sometimes counseling serves as guideposts. Marriage itself isn’t a prerequisite. Frequently couples are seen who are dating or living together - even couples who are looking for healthy ways to part ways.
For Felicia and Sam, 3 months of couples counseling was enough to lay down a solid foundation of good communication skills and self-expression, before problems become impacted and resentments build. Sam learned to speak up if something bothered him and that a happy marriage wasn’t about Felicia “getting her way”…at least sometimes.
