Marital Counseling - Taking the Stigma Out of the Equation
Ellen and Eddie lived in the Midwest and worked as dairy farmers. They had been married for 21 years. Eddie had always had temperamental outbursts but lately, they had gotten worse. Their financial situation was becoming extremely stressed because their farm wasn’t generating the money it used to. Both were under a substantial amount of stress. When they sat before the couples counselor, they had nothing to say…for the entire first session! When Eddie finally spoke, he revealed this:
This is ridiculous. I’m embarrassed to be here. If anyone finds out, we’re going to be the laughing stock of our area. Listen, what goes on between Ellen and me is our business. I don’t want to talk to anyone else about this. We’ll figure it out ourselves.
Ellen chimed in:
You’ve said that for years. And we’re not figuring anything out. We’re spinning in circles and I’m sick and tired of it. This is the 21st century, Ed…it’s not that big of a deal to talk to someone if we’re having trouble. You go to the doctor when you’re sick, right? So enough. We’re staying here until we figure something us. And to hell with everyone else.
The counselor sat there, surprised and glad at what Ellen said. Eddie sat in stunned silence. Apparently, he had never heard Ellen speak like that either. The counselor then started to work with the couple and the couple grew more comfortable with the idea of counseling and began a slow process of revealing.
Couples counseling - or any other kind of counseling - often holds a particular stigma for people. Some people, such as those in major cities for example, feel more comfortable speaking quite freely about their “therapist”, almost as if it was a status symbol. But couples like Ellen and Eddie were from a different region, where different social rules applied. Regardless, the stigma is unwarranted and as Ellen pointed out:
“You go to the doctor when you’re sick, right?”
