Marriage Counseling Addresses Financial Masking of Emotional Concerns 

Financial issues in a marriage aren’t always about the money. Financial arrangements within a relationship can be as varied as the couples involved. In many relationships, the partner who is stronger with numbers is the one in charge of finances. In others, the finances are jointly managed, and in still others couples switch off, month by month, on paying the bills. However you and your partner have your finances arranged, communication is the key to managing it correctly.

When one partner begins to act as if the joint accounts were a personal allowance to be used however they wish, problems inevitably occur. It is just as detrimental when one spouse begins to lie by omission, purchasing high-ticket items and simply not telling their partner about it. Of course, eventually, that missing money will be noticed.

One of the most common issues in marriages and finances occurs when one partner, who previously had a history of responsible spending and communication, suddenly begins to spend money as if its growing on trees and hiding purchases. In these cases, the issues aren’t about finances, though that is what is usually brought up as the problem. The issue here is really about a mental concern that is manifesting itself as a financial one.

Mary says:

We had always been careful about spending and seldom made a lot of personal purchases. After my father died, though, I found myself at wandering around the mall, a lot. I didn’t realize how much I was spending until the credit card bills started rolling in. I had racked up over $6,000 in a little over 2 months. I didn’t even remember what I had bought.

In this case, Mary was handling her grief over her father’s death by essentially entering into retail therapy. Mary eventually, through marriage counseling with her husband, learned about more appropriate and healthier ways to move through her grief.

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