Marriage Counseling and Traditional Roles
Frida and Ed had been married for only a year before they sought out couples counseling. Frida had taken on a second job and was “neglecting the needs of the household” according to Ed. Frida was angry with Ed and felt that this thinking was problematic. She feared they weren’t compatible:
“When I heard him talking like some 50′s Dad, I got really worried. In all the time we were dating, he never spoke like that. I’m not his handmaid. I didn’t marry him for this! We need the money right now…seriously. It’s the first priority. We’re behind on our bills, our credit cards payments…I can’t believe he’s prioritizing housework over over our financial concerns. More importantly, I don’t know if I want to be with someone who has such antiquated views.”
Frida and Ed were in a deadlock with one another. It took some time before Ed began exploring his views and opinions regarding his the role of his wife. But after a while, he began talking about his childhood and how he was raised in an ultra-traditional household. He expressed how he did feel a change of opinion once the he married Frida. Frida in turn expressed to him her views on being a wife and what she expected of a husband – a conversation they might have had a long time ago.
It took a good deal of time in therapy to work through these “traditional roles” issues as well as work on alleviating the anxiety they were both experiencing around their pressing financial issues, which had a strong, underlying component.
Soon Frida and Ed began working together on the household, which they both found rewarding. Their financial issues still remain but they talk more openly about their worries.
Related Posts
- Traditional Roles Meet Couples Counseling
- Marriage and The New Gender Roles
- Counseling – When the Roles Change
- Gender Roles in Marriage
- Marriage Counseling – When the Small Things Get in the Way
