Marriage Counseling & Changing Old Patterns
Martha and Ed entered into marriage counseling with 32 years of marriage under their belt. “20 of its been miserable,” said Martha. The couple were near constantly arguing, to a point where it had become a joke in their immediate family.
“Everyone thinks its funny when we bicker but I don’t. I don’t at all. My daughter Elaine thinks its witty banter or something like that. But no one sees the other side. Ed and I don’t hold hands anymore, we don’t sit close to one another on the sofa and watch our programs. If we’re not squabbling, we’re not talking at all. Its like an old habit we developed, like smoking or something, and now, we can’t break it. I’m going to be 66 next month. I look back and I wonder, is this as good as it gets? Can anything be done or is it too late?”
Something could be done and it wasn’t too late. Surprisingly, considering their adversarial relationship, both were very willing participants during their time in couples therapy. Both worked hard at trying to renavigate their relationship.
hey began introducing romance into their lives little by little, arranging dates that were entirely argument free. They began practicing new forms of communication with one another. They even had to explain to family members the importance of not “egging them on” as they had in the past, for their own amusement.
Slowly the couple began to unravel years of well-worn patterns and began to discover the couple they were decades ago: loving, romantic and warm.
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- Changing Yourself a Lesson From Marriage Counseling
- Counseling Breaks Down Reactive Patterns
- Couples Counseling and Changing Perspective
- Changing Your Thoughts About Your Marriage
