Marriage Counseling during Trying Times
Ryan and Anita entered couples counseling after experiencing a devastating financial loss - one that cost them a majority of their savings. While both of them had high-paying jobs, they knew it would take years to recoup. On top of it, Anita held Ryan to blame for the loss. She had suggested safer financial options for their savings while Ryan, she considered, a “high roller.”
Ryan had this to say:
You know, she never complained when I was generating tons of money with our savings. I took big chances and it paid off for years. Now that I made a mistake - or whatever you want to call it - now I’m a big failure. She had more of a chance to take part in the finances but she chose to leave it all to me…and I didn’t always want the responsibility. It creates a lot of anxiety for me. Now that we’ve lost so much, I’m the fall guy. It’s kind of ridiculous. This is her responsibility too.
The couples counselor delved into each of their views on money and how this dynamic between the two of them had been created. Ryan had always been risky with money but Anita was the silent and complicate partner, not standing up for herself or their finances when she needed. Money often represents more than just finances for a couple and the two had to explore some of the deeper meanings, while grieving the loss of a financial state that had been a safety net for some time. Slowly, the began to look at this situation as an opportunity, to grow finances together and not separately.
