Marriage Counseling - Learning to Have a Voice Again
Marie was a painfully shy child. She wouldn’t talk to a soul in school unless she a teacher asked her a question. Into her teens, her withdrawn personality continued to manifest itself. She rarely took place in any social activities. By the time college started, Marie hadn’t a friend. When John introduced himself to her, she couldn’t figure out why such a handsome, charismatic man would want anything to do with her. When John asked her to marry him years later, she had no clue why! It wasn’t until two decades later, in couples counseling, that Marie would find her voice and be able to ask him these questions.
John and Marie entered counseling because John had become concerned. Her realized his wife was painfully shy but lately she had developed some health problems and seemed even more introverted, afraid to interact even with the doctor. John had accepted his wife’s “issues” as he said, but this was getting ridiculous.
For several months, John did most of the talking in therapy. The counselor lead the two of them through several exercises to open up more, but John always seemed like he was leading. A “breakthrough” of sorts occurred one day when Marie finally expressed her disdain for even being there in the first place! The therapist cheered! Whether it was positive or negative, Marie was expressing herself and that was the beginning.
Marriage counseling should allow the couple a safe platform for their voice to be heard, even if the voice is as quiet as Marie’s. Some people find themselves opening up for the first time. Some need to quiet their voice, to hear their partner’s. Either way, expression of self and discovering your voice is just one of the many benefits of therapy. Breaking down walls and opening up - it’s what it’s all about!
