Marriage Counseling – When Expectations Get in the Way
Here’s what Martha, 41, had to say about her expectations surrounding her marriage to Scott:
I had so many dreams as a teenager. I had my wedding gown planned out by the time I was 15! I knew what I wanted my husband to look like, how he’s talk, how much money he’d make and how he’d take care of me.
By the time I married Scott, I was stunned. He was nothing like any of my little visions. I remember thinking when he walked down the aisle, “Oh my God, I’ve made a mistake! Stop the wedding!” In my heart, I knew Scott was a good man, but he didn’t fit the vision in my head.
7 years later, we started couples counseling. Now we talk about our marriage, we talk about expectations…things that never happened before. Because guess what? In all of those little visions, I never imagined having problems with my “perfect” husband! I never knew that we’d have to learn how to communicate, how to understand each other’s feelings. Now that we do, it’s such a relief! I had trouble saying goodbye to all of those expectations, but once I did, I realized I had a real marriage with a real man.
Couples counseling can help clear the way for a renewed, updated vision of a relationship; one minus the expectations that often get in the way. People find, via counseling, a new way of dealing with their partner as well as themselves. The same tired expectations they had heaped on another are often similar to the ones they bear themselves. Once free, they are able to look at their partner with a clearer vision and accept themselves more wholly and completely.
Related Posts
- Expectations about Marriage
- Have You Laden Your Marriage With Expectations?
- Expectations and Couples Counseling
- False Expectations for Couples
- Healing Together in Couples Counseling
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