Marriage Counseling, when Loves Gone Stale
Estra and Tommy entered couples counseling so they could address some longstanding problems that neither had been contending with. Tommy was constantly working and rarely spent any “quality time” with Estra and she had grown to resent this. Problem being, she felt like this for the last 10 years. When asked why they hadn’t entered marital counseling before, Estra had this to say:
I don’t know what’s taken us so long. Probably because Tommy’s been too busy for the last 10 years! Now, I don’t know…it’s been this way for so long, that I care the least I ever had. I used to get so upset but now it’s just…apathy. I don’t feel the same way about Tommy now. And I don’t care as much. I feel like our loves gone stale and I don’t even know if I want to work hard at this point to fix it.
The counselor began exploring ways for Estra and Tommy to reconnect but it wasn’t easy. Underneath all that “apathy” was a tremendous amount of rage, which the counselor encouraged them to discuss, even argue about, then finally release.
This couple had become seriously disenfranchised from one another. Often counseling is more effective when you notice the beginning of a problem. As years pass, the hurt feelings can harden and solidify, making them more difficult to work on.
If you sense a problem in your relationship or your marriage, then don’t put help off until tomorrow. Talking about your marriage is the first step toward repairing it. Waiting can cause more embedded problems that are increasingly difficult to address.
