Marriage Counseling when there’s “No Way Out”
Marisha and Kei had somewhat of an “arranged marriage.” Both came from very traditional Indian families and while they both had known each other from childhood, they openly admitted that if they had had a chance, they would have married someone else. Marisha, in fact, had been in love with someone else up until the point of her marriage.
Now, living in America for over 12 years because of Kei’s work, the two realized they were in trouble.That’s when they entered marital counseling.
According to Marisha:
Since moving here, I’ve become a different person. Back in India, I would have forced myself to adjust to this situation but here, I feel like I have some options. I mean, I’m not going to leave my marriage. Now way. (laughing) There’s no way out! But at least we’re here.
Marisha and Kei worked through some very difficult, long-standing resentment because of their semi-arranged situation that neither wanted to be in but both were insistent upon keeping. It was a difficult dilemma for the counselor, who is used to removing layers of anger and pain and returning to a previous place of deeper love and connectivity. In this case, this connectivity didn’t exist in the traditional sense – just a common goal.
Both parties learned to accept each other in their current states and at the the least, to learn to be friends and allies. The two made time for one another to do shared activities and also went through several exercises to find out what other common ties exist between the two.
Marisha and Kei are now living in a more peaceful place with one another and are planning a family in the next year. It’s not the best situation for a couple but it’s working and that was their shared objective.
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