Marriage Counseling - When Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds
Nick and Frank sat down before a couples counselor, quite unsure of what to do. Both were new to counseling and weren’t sure how to proceed. When one spoke, the other began speaking. They were both nervous and in need of guidance. The couples counselor then asked each of them to explain why they were there.
According to Nick:
When Frank cheated on me 3 years ago (and 2 months and 1 week), we fought for several months. We cried, we threatened to end our relationship, we did everything we could to fix the damage that had been done. But after all this time, I still don’t trust him. Everything about him I find suspect, frankly. When he tells me he liked a dinner I just made, I think he’s lying. I just don’t know if we’ll ever move past this.
According to Frank:
Truthfully, I’m at a loss. I feel like I’ve done everything I can to make him feel safe. Nothing really seems to make a difference. He’s the one that’s stuck now. I mean, I know I messed up, but how many times can I go and apologize for it? This has been years now. At this point, I think its an issue of his - not mine.
The counselor went on to explain that infidelity can often have reverberations that last years in a relationship. He also imparted to the couple that healing after an infidelity is a multi-layered process. If a stage isn’t gone through correctly, the couple may find themselves in a “stuck” place. Frank and Nick were in that stuck place and ready to move forward. Couples counseling gave them the direction they needed to truly process their experience and genuinely move forward.
