The Marriage Counseling Blog

For many couples, especially those going through a particularly difficult time, the success of a long term marriage seems more like a dream than a possibility. It is common to hear troubled couples refer to others who have been married for 40 years or more to chalk it up to being “soul mates, “ and then to mourn the fact that they have obviously not found their soul mate.

While the personality types within some couples do give them a natural advantage when it comes to solving conflicts, the reality is that there is no magical “soul mate” solution that they have found. Upon serious and introspective discussion, you will find that those couples who have been together for decades didn’t happen upon a magical solution, but rather accepted the fact that marriage is both work and pleasure. The long term success of a marriage requires a commitment of self that isn’t easy, nor is it meant to be. If it was easy, than every couple would be married forever, happily.

Even the best of couples, those that seem to have it all, have had difficult times in their relationship that required Marriage Therapy in order to work things out. A serious commitment to each other sometimes means seeking outside assistance in order to get over a particularly difficult time.

The next time you are envying a couple that has obviously been together for decades, take a moment to realize the work that they have put into their relationship and the realistic probability that even they had to seek out marriage therapy in order to reach that level of happiness.

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