Midlife Counseling
Suzanne and Willy had been happily married for 14 years. Both had a lot in common and had a genuine friendship that had become the bedrock of their relationship. According to them, many couples envied the ease with which they got along. But the last 2 years, communication problems arose. Willy seemed less connected to Suzanne, spending long hours at the office and opting out of time together.
Suzanne responded by becoming more belligerent and demanding with Willy, which only served to push him away further. She became depressed, sullen and anxious. She knew her marriage was beginning to have problems and she feared the worst. When Suzanne suggested couples therapy to Willy, at first he was unwilling but after much insistence, she finally agreed.
Once in therapy, Willy confessed that he was genuinely unsatisfied with his marriage. He felt Suzanne used to be more “in awe” of him and lately, she seems more annoyed and less impressed by his accomplishments (he is a successful musical conductor.) She stopped attending his shows or asking about his work. Suzanne in turn felt he rarely asked her to attend his shows and also didn’t ask much about her pursuits. She often felt he wasn’t concerned with them (she was a music publisher and owned her own company.)
With some time, they began to work through these long-standing resentments and made real effort toward reconnecting with the other’s life. Often, after years of marriage, a couple can fall away from one another. They lose the effort they used to put out early on and life begins to take over, slowly pulling the couple apart. This was the case with Suzanne and Willy who needed some guidance simply to reconnect.
