Recognizing a Problem Exists – the First Step
Many couples may endure years in a state of denial when they are encountering a chronic relationship issue. And it’s understandable. First of all, problems evolve – they don’t happen overnight. Something that seemed relatively small several years ago may suddenly seem like an angry elephant sitting in the living room. That’s because resentments build, they accumulate. At one point, you may say to yourself, “Well, that’s not really such a big deal. Why bring it up?” Years later, it can become the onlything you bring up!
Couples counseling can also seem like a burden, a task – just another thing to add to your life’s “to do” list. Relationship issues tend to wear on a couple, causing a certain emotional fatigue. The two parties naturally want to retreat, not work.
Recognizing a problem exists is another obstacle. Often, our finger-pointing ways lead us to believe it must be the other party. “If he would only listen to me more” or “If she would stop acting so possessive” etc. Problems inevitably exist in a relationship because of two people. These are interpersonal issues and require two parties. One of the most important aspects of therapy is to recognize your part and stop the blame game.
But once both parties understand that they have a shared problem, that’s when some progress can begin. Admission is truly the first step. This allows both people to be on the same side once again, realizing they have a shared problem that needs to be addressed and defined. That alone is a step toward togetherness and understanding.
Related Posts
- Pre-Marriage Counseling – A Smart Step
- Making Step Children Feel Welcome
- Couples Counseling – Listening as the First Step
- Signs that it’s Time for Therapy
