The Marriage Counseling Blog

One of the more common problems couples face is the loss of passion or romance in their relationship. This usually happens over an extended period of time though even newly married couples can experience a certain diminishing that causes concern. Couples counselor are experts at focusing on this particular issue.

A loss of passion between two people can happen for a number of reasons. One is simply the natural ebbs and flows of any relationship. A couple may be experiencing an “ebb” period for the first time and are concerned that it indicates a bigger problem. Often this is a time for the couple to take advantage of this natural separation and focus on their own individual life for a while, such as reconnecting with friends or hobbies.

Another reason for a loss of passion and/or romance is unspoken feelings. Often one or both partners in a marriage will “swallow” their feelings in an attempt to keep an even keel in the relationship. Unfortunately this is how resentments gather. Passion or sexuality doesn’t allow for such pent-up emotions. In other words, the body doesn’t lie! When those hardened feelings gather after years, it can easily snuff out the earlier feeling of romance and passion. A chain reaction can occur. The person responding to the closed off partner often feels rejected and begins to shut down as well, only compounding the problem.

Couples counseling often focuses on this latter cause, since it is quite common. A counselor will explore unspoken feelings and gathered resentments. Often the simple utterance of these deeply held emotions is enough to heat up a relationship again.