Should Spouses Be Friends?
“A marriage is happy only if the spouses are best friends,” said a friend many years ago. I used to wonder if that is indeed true. How many of you can claim to have one single closest friend? While we have many friends, the concept of ‘best friend’ does not apply in every case. So, if you cannot find a best friend, how can you think of turning your spouse into your best friend, or for that matter, marrying your best friend?
Marriage is an exclusive relationship. A relationship like no other. Spouses may not necessarily be best friends but they ought to be friends. Why? Because no relationship can exist without some sort of friendship. So, spouses have to be friends but the extent of friendship will vary in every marriage. In some marriages, the spouse is really the best friend. In others, the spouse is a close friend but one still has one or two same-sex friends outside with whom one shares a different bond.
Friendship has expectations but no ego, making friendship a hassle-free bond. OK, I said too much. Every friendship has its share of problems but the problems are not as complicated as in a relationship or marriage. The extra load of expectations that you bring along in a relationship along with that yearning for perfection is what makes a relationship complicated. Now, friendship between spouses can actually take the pressure off the relationship. If you try making friends with your spouse, you will make your marriage healthier.
Don’t start looking to make your friend your spouse; instead make your spouse your friend.
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