Signs that it’s Time for Therapy 

It’s not always easy to know when you and your significant other should consider therapy. There are difficult phases in a relationship that may not warrant professional help (though even temporary phases can be smoothed over with the assistance of a trained counselor). Perhaps one member is experiencing unemployment or physical problems and it puts an undue strain on a relationship. It’s normal to have heightened conflicts during these times.

As a matter of fact, not all fighting is a bad thing. We all know that “clearing of the air” feeling that happens when a good, healthy argument occurs. There’s a certain comfort and trust two people have with one another simply to argue in the first place. Some couples will claim to never argue and one must wonder whether that’s necessarily a good thing.

The need for therapy arises when there is a cyclical nature to arguing – when arguing becomes fighting. There is often an accusatory tone; in other words, “the blame game” begins. Neither party is taking responsibility and both are busy casting stones.

This kind of arguing can often spread to years, where the same topics are brought up time and time again. Animosity and resentment build. Name calling can occur. A cold front may move into the household, where both partners get into a habit of ignoring the problems as well as one another.

These can be obvious signs that couples counseling may be in need. It is often difficult to bring up the need for therapy when both parties are in a deep freeze. Egos becomes entrenched and a stand-off occurs.

If you can move past this and realize there is a bigger picture at stake, help can be yours. It is important, though, to not approach your partner in the form of an ultimatum, unless all choices have been exhausted. It is time for you to put your differences aside and suggest it in the most open manner possible. Couples counseling can be approached from a practical standpoint and not an emotional one. Occasionally, both parties are more than happy to find a solution to a problem that has been bothering them for years. Suggesting it is the hard part. But without that initiation, the problem most always persists.

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