Syncing Up with your Partner through Marriage Counseling
When Barb and Damian married, they knew their schedule would be a challenge but they figured they would manage it. Barb is an emergency room nurse who works evening and Damian started his own law practice, where he spent many long days that extended into the night.
Their first two years of marriage proved to be even more difficult than they had anticipated.
Barbara confessed to the marriage counselor:
I rarely see my husband. We’re like two ships passing in the night. We don’t have time for dinners together. We don’t have time for sex. He’s becoming a stranger to me and it breaks my heart. My whole life I dreamed of marrying someone like Damian and now that I have, I never see him. The distance seems to be getting worse as well. When we finally do have time together, we’ve been feeling…uncomfortable around one another. That’s when I started to worry. I don’t want to become one of those marriages - more like a business than a deep love.
The counselor even had trouble scheduling appointments for the couple. They canceled repeatedly due to their erratic schedules. He finally insisted on them committing to one appointment a week or real work couldn’t be accomplished. Amazingly, that one appointment a week had a sort of “contagious” effect.
Once they carved out time for therapy, they tended to have some time free afterwards. The time after therapy become Barb and Damien’s time to go out to lunch together, go for a long walk or have a romantic picnic. It was only an hour or two before Barb would have to go to work, but it became enough for the couple to reacquaint, slowly but surely.
In a constantly frenzied day and age, relationships are often the first to suffer. But just like anything else, they need tending to - they don’t stay together without time and effort. Work can be all-consuming but love, in the end, is what presents us with the richest form of happiness.
