The Art of Letting Go in Couples Counseling
One of the most difficult aspects of interpersonal relations is knowing when to let go, to walk away, to regroup. Most of us move toward enmeshment when we were argue. Our egos get involved, we want to “win.” Or we’re so eager to fix things, we don’t understanding that sometimes letting go is a way to fix things.
Couples counseling is so effective because offers a chance to get some distance from our problems. Simply “handing over” your problems to a counselor is a way of letting go. Of course, you’re not giving your problems to someone else (wouldn’t that be nice. “Here’s ten pounds of problems. Yours now!) You’re simply releasing your death grip on them! You’re allowing a trained marriage counselor examine your issues in addition to your contributions. It’s amazingly therapeutic just allowing someone else in; it almost forces the two of you to take a step back so the three of you can look at it together.
Egos are fragile little 5-year olds. They yell and scream and don’t want to lose. They pout, cajole and tease. When you’re having trouble letting go of an argument with a significant other, chances are, there is plenty of ego involved.
The lesson is in learning not to take the ego so seriously. Meditative practices have been teaching this for many years. We all know how time heals a problem. Well, that’s mainly due to the fact that we walked away, we centered ourselves, we looked at our problems from an entirely different perspective. When you talk about your marriage or relationship with a trained professional, it’s a natural distancing practice as well. You’re no longer getting stuck in the same old cycle with your partner, you’re breaking free.
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- Letting Laughter Work in Couples Counseling
- Marriage Counseling and the Act of Letting Go
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- Marriage Counseling and Letting go of the Past
