The Marriage Counseling Blog

A common refrain heard from many couples who aren’t attending marriage counseling is, “We don’t have the time” or “We’re planning on it at some point, but not now.” In this day and age where every minute seems full, it is often hard to make the time for counseling. If you have children, there are a myriad of duties to perform on a daily basis. Even without children, our 9 - 5 work week has slowly transformed into 8 - 6 with overtime. Our jobs are all-consuming and by the time we arrive home, we want to shut off and shut down.

This can often lull a couple into thinking things are okay or a certain “status quo.” No, the problems haven’t gone away - not at all - but both of you seem too tired to discuss them and fine with letting sleeping dogs lie. There is no problem, in a sense, if the two of you aren’t together enough to have a problem together!

Of course, this can cause one of the worst marital problems: apathy. Days pass, you’re not happy but you’re not as actively unhappy either. It becomes akin to a chronic pain you become accustomed to - it hurts, yes but you’re getting used to it.

This is a very dangerous territory. If you have children and there is this low-lying friction, it is almost certain they sense it. These children will often showcase a high level of anxiety or are prone to act out in many different ways. If you don’t have children, the rift quietly grows - it doesn’t stay still. Years can go by before you realize how large it is.

The question you want to ask yourself? Do I want to be living this kind of life with my partner? Ultimately, time is precious. Problems can be solved with the help of a counselor bringing a whole level or richness into your life and your marriage.