The Art of Patience in Couples Counseling
We are a quick fix society. We want solutions yesterday. Unfortunately – or fortunately – when it comes to couples counseling, there is no quick fix. It’s a process not a product. Marital problems that have often taken years to create do not “undo” themselves overnight.
As one spouse had to say:
When Taylor and I went into counseling, I was very, very impatient. I didn’t even want to do it, frankly. So I thought, “Okay, fine…I’ll give this a shot. One, two sessions, max.” Now, over a year later, I ask myself, “What was I thinking?” Taylor and I have been married over 15 years. We had problems when we first met. There was no simple answer. We had to do some serious self-exploration before we could fix what was stuck.
Now we’re in counseling because we want to be. We consider it a time that’s exclusively ours. Our marriage has never been stronger. As a matter of fact, its like we’re a new couple. We’re a team now – no longer adversaries, backbiting constantly. I’m glad I stuck it out and didn’t give up on this so soon. It kinda saved our marriage.
Patience is indeed a virtue, one that can be practiced as you work out marital issues you may be suffering from. If you feel anxiety during the first session, be aware that that’s normal. That eventually you will find your groove and become more comfortable with you partner and your counselor. Just remember to be open-minded and take your time, with your partner, with your counselor and with yourself!
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Sometimes people who are not patient, lose something before they get that thing. To be able to wait enough time, it’s an art. Most of us give up on something, just because we don’t have enough patience. Patience is essential because it gives us self-control, helps us be more loving, and achieve what we want.
I also wrote an article about the The Art Of Patience