The Etiquette of Arguing for Couples
As we explore more deeply the complex dynamics that exist between two partners, we begin to see the intricacies of communication. When a couple enters into marriage counseling, they often relearn (or learn for the first time) how to communicate properly, even how to argue properly.
Arguing can be healthy way to express emotion and diffuse anger. It can also be a sign of trust. When a couple can “make it through” an argument, there is a bonding that takes place. They realize that they have a certain ability to withstand.
One key to keeping an argument contained and healthy is the avoidance of acceleration.
If one partner can retain a level head during the course of an argument, the other partner will often relax a bit and “come down” to the calmer party’s level. You’ll notice that there is an almost innate temptation to raise your voice when someone else does, in order to “be heard.” Most of the time, this encourages “acceleration,” something you want to avoid.
When you maintain a certain volume and pace during an argument, you can keep it sane and healthy. Conversely when you feel it spinning and growing like a cyclone, remember, it may be time to take a break or bring it down a notch. Also, putting your opinions on the back burner for even a few minutes to truly focus on the other’s opinion can help as well.
The beauty of adulthood is the ability to be civil, even during difficult moments.
Related Posts
- Couples Counselors Help You Re-Think Arguing
- Couples Therapy & The Art of Arguing
- Marriage and Arguing Productively
- Is it Worth Arguing About?
- Learning How to Argue Constructively through Couples Counseling
