The Here and Nowness of Marital Therapy
Couples therapy and individual therapy is a wonderful way to explore yourself in a healthy and safe setting. Many people think, “Well what is there to explore? I know myself already.” Well, most of live only semi-consciously and don’t even realize it. When was the last time you felt like you were genuinely living in the present, in a real and thorough manner. Think before you answer. Many of us assume that we’re always living in the present when in fact we’re either living in the future or in the past.
Living in the future is where worry and anxiety often reside. “What will happen if I lose my job during this tough economic time?” “What if my partner finds someone she likes better than me?” These are all “future based” worries. If it starts with a “what if”, you know its technically out of your control. Though we love to try to control the future, the future vehemently opposes our attempts. The future likes to throw curve balls or just a big dose of normalcy when we thought something terrible might happen!
Living in the past is often where guilt and grief reside. One of the main components we have trouble living in the Here and Now is unresolved grief. We don’t take the time to really flesh out our feelings. We move forward too soon after a painful incident and we begin to disconnect as a survival technique. Soon, we are feeling more hardened and less able to be vulnerable.
Working relationships require a healthy dose of vulnerability and presence in order to survive. Worry, anxiety, unresolved grief – these are all ways we lose sight of our true selves – and often lose sight of our loved one as well. After all, how can you truly understand someone else’s pain when you don’t allow yourself to feel it?
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- Living with the Anxiety of Marital Problems
- Why Pre-Marital Counseling is Important?
- 4 Reasons You Should Go For Pre-Marital Counseling
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