The Silent Treatment, When Couples Don’t Talk and How Marriage Counseling Can Help
Jeremy and Stacy aren’t talking. At all. It’s been five days. They’ve gotten mad and given each other the silent treatment before, but it’s usually for a few hours, or at the most overnight. Now, Jeremy and Stacy don’t know exactly how to start talking again. Marriage counseling can help couples learn how to “fight fair,” how to listen and share, and how to get over a difficult patch.
Some couples are yellers, and everything they think comes out their mouth. Other couples clam up, and nothing they’re thinking passes their lips. This style of communication, by “non-communication” is just as unhealthy and as damaging as ugly fighting. Both are bad habits to fall into, and most couples lean one way or the other.
Jeremy shares:
Stay overdrew our checking account–again. I’ve asked her over and over to be careful. I know we need to handle our finances differently so we don’t wind up here again, but right now, I’m so mad that I’m afraid if I say anything, I’ll say the wrong thing. Something in me just shut off. I can’t think straight. Maybe I stopped talking to punish her, in a way. I want her to know how serious this is. I love Stac, but right now, I’m so frustrated with the situation that I can’t even talk about it.
Stacy shares:
I don’t even know exactly why we’re not talking. I think it’s about a bounced check. I tried to explain. I hardly ever use checks, so I just forgot to tell him about it. Yeah, I’ve overdrawn the account several times lately, and yes, we need help with our finances, but we can’t just not deal with it. I don’t want this to ruin our marriage. Every time we stop talking, it seems to go longer and longer.
Marriage counseling can help Jeremy and Stacy learn how to handle their conflicts. Jeremy and Stacy can learn how to share their feelings and concerns without accusations, guilting, or name calling.–or without clamming up just to avoid an argument. They can also learn how to get to the deeper issues that underlie their finances, as well as lead them toward coming up with a solid plan to manage their finances–together. It will take practice, forgiveness, patience, and persistence to practice healthy communication, but it’s worth it.
Related Posts
- Couples Counseling for the Silent Problems
- Talk Marriage With Other Married Couples
- Do You Want to Talk About Your Marriage?
- Why Married Men Need To Talk About Marriage
- Who Do You Talk About Marriage With?
