The Marriage Counseling Blog

There are many schools of therapy in which counselors are trained. It is important to ascertain whether a particular direction of study suits you and your partners needs. But there are certain elements you can expect in your first few meetings with your couples counselor, overall.

* The counselor will want to assess and define the problem overall. They will generally do this by asking both parties their take, to make an overall impression of the “bigger picture.”

* The marriage or couples counselor will then ask each party about their feelings in relation to the currently defined problem. For example, one member may be feeling the need for a divorce while the other is hoping for reconciliation. Perhaps one member is feeling very depressed from the current state of their relationship and it’s affecting other areas of his or her life.

* Communication skills will be examined closely. Most couples in conflict have poor communication skills in place which only exacerbate the problem. The therapist will have the opportunity to evaluate the overall state of the couple’s communications.

* Conflict resolution may be discussed. Many couples have taken to poor communications and what is considered “unfair fighting” such as name calling or stone walling. Couples will be taught respectful ways to listen to one another, even if they are in disagreement.

* The couples counselor may want to speak to individually to the couple. This allows for certain information to come out that may not when the two are together. This helps the counselor get a more detailed psychological picture of the individuals he or she is dealing with, as well.

* Family histories may be explored separately or together. Family histories play a direct part in the way two people interact. This also helps the individuals understand one another better.

* Personality inventories are sometimes utilized so two people can understand the overall personality type of one another.

* Forgiveness is a hallmark of counseling work. Many times, two people are mired in old resentments that need to be addressed and let go. Both parties learn to give and receive forgiveness more readily.

* Homework or assignments can be given. The counseling session can’t end after the couple leaves the office. It’s important to integrate the changes on a daily basis.

You are always encouraged to question your counselor. He or she is not always “right” and are trained to accept criticisms or respond directly and openly to questions. Your interactions with the counselor can be just as significant as your interactions with your partner. So choose wisely and don’t be afraid to explore freely.

Related Posts

• Your First Counseling Session – What to Expect
• What Can I Expect in Marriage Counseling
• What to Expect from Couples Counseling
• One Session Marriage Counseling Benefits
• Can One Session of Counseling Help?