Couples Counseling - When Patience is Required
Herb and Sally entered therapy based on their family’s urgings. They had ceased speaking to one another over a year ago, when Herb found out Sally was contemplating an affair.
Sally told Herb this as a last ditch effort, she later confessed. She was very unhappy in her marriage and had been for quite some time. A co-worker began expressing interest in her and she was tempted to act on it. She told Herb this and he became so angry, he stopped talking to her. This was a year ago. Sally’s mother-in-law set up the counseling appointment and several other family members insisted they go.
This was a very difficult situation because both parties were so unwilling. Herb sat through several appointments, speechless and arms folded. Sally spoke but only intermittently. The counselor finally took some bold steps, physically putting them in closer proximity and having them face one another. He then gave them lines to speak to one another. Herb and Sally were soon exchanging words, even if they were someone else’s!
Bit by bit, the walls fell down. Herb finally said, “I wouldn’t say this. I’d say something else.” When asked what, he responded. Then Sally responded naturally. Soon, a dialogue ensued, though it was stilted for quite some time.
Therapy can be a long process. There are no easy answers and pain and anger can run deep. Patience is required in this world where everybody expects easy fixes. This couple took their time to express themselves and this was fine - because at least it was expression.
