When is Couples Counseling Finished?
Marianne and George had been seeing the same couples counselor for two years. Their marriage had a rocky start, since Marianne was dealing with an addiction problem and spent several of their first few months as a married couple in rehab. George had lost a lot of hope at that time, feeling as if he had possibly made a mistake. Even though Marianne was actively sober and in a 12-step program, he had lost trust in their relationship.
George had this to say about counseling:
I don’t know what we would have done without it. When Marianne came back home, she was a different person. And I was too. How were we supposed to start a life together, as strangers? But Chuck [their marriage counselor] was with us every step of the way. He helped navigate us through that tricky first year of our new relationship. The second year seemed more like maintenance. We needed it but we were really doing well at home at that point. We had broken past our “wall” and were in a groove with one another.
By the end of the second year, Chuck suggested that maybe it was time to end our therapy. We felt the same way. We were very much in sync with one another. Now, we go back every once in a while but again, its more for maintenance.
There is a often an intuitive sense the couples counselor and the couple will get when its time to cease therapy. There is a state of calm and peace in the relationships and they genuinely feel in good working order. The nice part? That therapist is there to see you in the future, if the need arises.
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