The Marriage Counseling Blog

Everybody needs a little help now and then.
It’s too bad that our wedding vows don’t include an additional clause, “I promise to seek help and commit to working on our marriage, throughout our marriage.” Sadly, people usually wait too long to visit a marriage counselor. By then, some problems have long tentacles. Couples should be able to work through day-to-day issues without the intervention of counseling, but how do you know when it’s serious enough to seek help?

When You Should Consider Marriage Counseling:

• When you’re hurting your relationship repeatedly due to bad verbal habits such as yelling, (or silent treatment), hurtful verbal bashing (you’re such a…), over-criticizing, insinuations (you weren’t with your sister, were you?) or constant negativity. It’s easy to let these poor communication habits become the norm. You have to realize that you’re damaging your marriage and you need to seek help to break this negative cycle. It’s so easy to repeat what you heard from your parents, even when you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Be smart  and nip this behavior before it becomes so en-grained.
• When life gets particularly hard. In today’s economy, some marriages are suffering. Families are losing their jobs and homes, others are working twice as hard for half the pay. For some, it’s a medical situation. You may be dealing with a cancer diagnosis, or you no longer have health insurance. These stresses can cause us to abuse or neglect our relationships. If you’re dealing with a family tragedy such as a death in the family, or sometimes, even “good” events trigger stress, such as a birth or move, you may need help to work with these significant changes.
• Other family issues can put a real strain on your marriage. Having an autistic child, or a difficult teen, or when you enter your caregiving years, or menopause–all these can cause an otherwise good marriage to go off kilter. Sometimes one partner doesn’t like the way the other partner is handling a particular situation.
• Addictions take a real toll on marriage. It’s easy to think of alcohol or drugs, but the number one addiction in America is to prescription meds. And then there’s pornography and gaming, and the list goes on… Addictions can cause good people to do bad things, so speak up and get help–for both of you.
• Mental and physical illness can nearly break a marriage, if you don’t seek help. Chronic illnesses are hard on both partners and can alter the marriage. For some, the illness isn’t going to go away. No matter how hard you try, MS, Alzheimer’s, arthritis, Lupus, and so many other diseases can only be managed. There’s no better reason than to ask for help. Adjusting to dealing with an illness is hard on everyone, so get the help you so deserve. Mental illness comes in all forms–from mild depression to schizophrenia. Some mental illnesses respond well to treatment. Others are a bit tougher.
• If you are dealing with mental illness either as a marriage partner, or the person suffering, then seek marriage counseling and support. Don’t give up–it’s isn’t necessarily the end of your marriage. Lots of marriages cope, and couple learn to value what life lessons gathered along the way. By asking for help, you show how much you value your marriage.

These are just a few reasons to seek marriage counseling. Marriage counseling can get you through a tough spot, teach you and your spouse new communication skills, and give you a sense of hope beyond your circumstances.

Related Posts

• Should Marriage Therapists Seek Couneling For Themselves?
• When Should You Seek Marriage Counseling?
• You Don’t Have To Be Married To Seek Marriage Counseling
• When to Seek Marriage Counseling
• When to Seek Marriage Counseling or Advice