When Two Becomes Three
Farber and Lee had planned on having children ever since they were high school sweethearts. They had picked out a name for the their first child shortly out of college. When they got married and Lee became pregnant shortly afterwards, everything was going according to plan. Then why were they sitting before a marriage counselor only months after their new child was born?
According to Farber:
Lee seems like a whole different person. She’s mad all the time. You can’t do right by her. She’s not bonding with Alice the way I thought she would either. As a matter of fact, she doesn’t even like to hold her all that much, which is a crying shame. I’m afraid this will do some damage to Alice but I can’t force Lee to love her…I mean, I know she loves her but she’s just changed.
Lee was suffering from postpartum depression, defined by US Department of Health and Human Services:
After pregnancy, hormonal changes in a woman’s body may trigger symptoms of depression. During pregnancy, the amount of two female hormones, estrogen and progesterone, in a woman’s body increases greatly. In the first 24 hours after childbirth, the amount of these hormones rapidly drops back down to their normal non-pregnant levels. Researchers think the fast change in hormone levels may lead to depression, just as smaller changes in hormones can affect a woman’s moods before she gets her menstrual period.
Lee had heard the term before but wasn’t sure if this was what she was going through. When it was explained in more detail, it seemed to fit the bill. Lee was educated on the topic, as well as being encouraged to not shame or put undo pressure on herself. Farber was asked to pick up more duties for the time being and Lee was put on a physical plan designed to get her body running at a more optimal level (she was also suffering from immense fatigue).
Within months, the couple saw an improvement and saw Alice as the blessing she truly was. They continued therapy for some time afterwards, as new pressures arose around child rearing. Both were grateful to have a resource in place.
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