Which Couples Counselor is Right for You?
Choosing a counselor can be a difficult process, especially when it comes to couples counseling where two people’s tastes and views need to be considered. When a couple are at odds with one another, they can often find themselves arguing about their choice of counselor! In addition, the counselor can be a scapegoat for a troubled couple. One may think that the other is receiving preferential treatment or “siding” whether it is true or not.
Couples counselors train specifically to make both parties feel heard. They realize that if they do any “siding” even subconsciously, it can damage the trust of the couple - even for the so-called “sided” party! In other words, if Husband A thinks the counselor is siding with him, while he may seem grateful, he could just as easily be suspicious and wonder when the sides will switch.
When choosing a counselor, it’s good to work as a team, even if you have been experiencing friction for some time. It’s imperative to put your differences aside and before you begin interviewing, ascertain what type of counselor you are looking for. Since this isn’t usually a “loaded” topic for a troubled couple, its usually possible to do. What type of personality would you both prefer? What type of training? What do you hope to accomplish? Is spirituality or race or religion an issue?
Most couples will feel a certain “rightness” when they find an appropriate counselor. It’s an internal sensation but most will admit having felt it when they find the right one. Ask whatever questions you need and check-in with one another afterwards. If it doesn’t feel right, go back to the drawing board.
