You Can Make Your Marriage Better
You are the one who decides whether to go for marriage counseling or not. You are the one who pays attention to the advice given by the counselor. You are the one who implements suggested advice to make changes in your relationship. You are the one who is the happiest when things improve in your marriage. Well, you and your spouse. But do you realize that the willingness and the effort to make a change comes from you. If you can do so much with some guidance from a counselor, can’t you do a bit on your own? You can. Yes, you can make your marriage better. At times, even singlehandedly.
Several times in this blog I have spoken about bring a change in your reactions to calm down a bad situation. You need not respond with an equally hurtful reaction to an action by your spouse. If your reaction is calm and unexpected, you will soon see changes in your spouse’s actions. It won’t happen in a day, yes, but it will definitely happen. Continuing on the same note, I would like to discuss some advice shared by Dr Richard Nicastro, a renowned psychologist and relationship coach.
In his article titled ‘Change Your Feelings Change Your Marriage‘, Dr Nicastro says that feelings are contagious. If your spouse’s feelings are negative or sad, yours too will echo the same negativity or sadness. This is true for tempers too. Now, imagine that instead of reciprocating your spouse’s negativity or anger, you respond with understanding and calmness. What if you communicated in a way that your spouse felt reassured? Wouldn’t things be a lot different? Dr Nicastro says, “Regulate yourself, regulate your relationship.” Of course, this is not easy, but this can be done, and it is you who can do it.
A little understanding and patience from you can bring a huge difference to your marriage. Wouldn’t you like to give it a try?
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Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past and focusing on the present.Its better to talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it.It’s the only way to prevent from more disappointment, anger or resentment and to make the marriage better.