Can A Marriage Counselor Fix Your Marriage?
Lisa and Danyal each had their own expectation when they entered into marriage. It came as no surprise that each also had their own expectations when they entered into marriage counseling.
After years of what they each referred to as a marriage of friendship that had lost all passion, they had hoped for a quick fix in counseling so that they could move on. Both were successful business people and were used to delegating and delivering orders quickly and effectively and had little patience with what they considered their partner‘s faults. Lisa expected their marriage counselor to explain where Danyal was wrong and how he could change. Danyal was expecting the marriage counselor to tell Lisa how she was wrong and what steps she could take to change. They were both right. Their experienced marriage counselor recognized the work that was going to be needed with the couple and approached it as straightforward as the couple themselves.
Lisa was annoyed.
The first session, right off, we got homework. I mean, really, homework? Like I didn’t have enough to do already, right? I was mad. I was paying the counselor to fix things, not to give me more to do in my life.
It took some time for the counselor to explain that Lisa and Danyal worked at everything except their marriage, and wanted the other person to work on it. Upon entering marriage counseling, they were hoping that, since neither one of them had fixed the marriage, they could hire someone else to do it.
It took many sessions for them to realize that the responsibility of their marriage was their own, not anyone else’s. When they actually completed a “homework” assignment, both were pleasantly surprised and felt a real sense of success, eventually thanking their marriage counselor.
Related Posts
- How Do You Choose Your Marriage Counselor?
- 8 Things To Consider When Choosing A Marriage Counselor
- The Marriage Counselor and the Accountant
- Marriage Counselor Rebuilds
- You Don’t Need a Marriage Counselor from the Very Beginning
