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Harness Truth in Marriage Counseling

Paul and Terry had been married for 9 years and had two young children when they decided that it was time to enter into marriage counseling as a last ditch effort to save their relationship.

Paul and Terry both answered the counselor’s questions about their likes and dislikes and the kind of issues that they had in their marriage, but many of the answers sounded rehearsed and didn’t match up with corresponding actions.

Paul said:

I love my kids, and I’m here because I want them to have a mom and a dad at home to raise them. There’s just nothing better than coming home to a family, spending time with them. At night I like to read the kids books and sing them a good night song.

Terry, on the other hand, was unable to back up Paul’s story:

Paul loves his kids, I’ve never doubted that, but to be honest, he doesn’t like being a father unless it plays out like a movie montage for a few minutes. He comes home for dinner, but instead of eating with us and talking about the day, he takes his dinner to the couch and watches TV. He doesn’t play with them, he doesn’t read them books unless I specifically ask them too, and he hasn’t sung them a song before bed in almost a year. He wants to be a good father, but he just simply doesn’t enjoy being one. He says he wants to spend time with me, but he has a standing night out with his friends every Friday, and every Sunday is spent watching sports on TV.

It took a few sessions of marriage counseling before Paul admitted to the counselor that his previous answers to questions were the answers he wanted to give, not the truth. It was very difficult for him to admit that he simply enjoyed having time to himself. He loved his kids, that was true, but he didn’t enjoy spending a lot of time as a family. Eventually, he opened up about his own childhood, which was spent mostly in front of the television with very little family interaction.

This article was written by Staff Writer, and posted on Friday, June 12th, 2009 at 9:56 am. It is filed under Marriage Counselors. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.