How to Make Sure Marriage Counseling Helps
Many of us think that visiting a marriage counselor will help your marriage in a miraculous way. Well, making an effort to go for marriage counseling sessions definitely shows that you are interested in making your marriage work, but that is not enough. You have to help your counselor help you. How?
Lisa Kift, Marriage and Family Therapist, has come up with a very practical approach to help you get the most out of marriage counseling. She lists the following five tips as part of that plan.
- Acknowledge a problem exists
- Acknowledge you might contribute to the problem
- Be willing to consider behavioral change
- Monitor your expectations
- Be patient
Now, let’s discuss each of these tips. If you are visiting a marriage counselor, there must be a problem. Don’t choose to blame your partner for having the problem. If either of you has a problem in your marriage, there is a problem.
Next, set aside your ego and think about how you may be a huge factor contributing to the conflicts in your marriage. If you are all perfect, you must be a saint. And if you are not a saint, you cannot rule out the possibility of you causing problems in your relationship.
If you want to bring a positive change to your marriage, you should be willing to make a change in your behavior. You should understand that small positive changes are never a compromise; instead, they help you develop your own personality.
Throughout your counseling, try to monitor the changes in your relationship. Find out if the counseling is helping your marriage.
And yes, be patient. Don’t expect changes from the very beginning.
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Excellent post. Attending relationship counselling, but not making any changes is akin to going to the doctor and getting a prescription and never taking the medicine prescribed. My experience tells me that when therapy is effective the clients are activiely engaged in integrating what has come out of the therapy work between sessions. I always encourage my clients to get out there and do something differen and experiment with new ways of interacting with each other.