Marriage Counseling Helps You Fight
Fighting to keep a marriage together may seem like a lot of work, and it is, but the benefits of it far outweighs the eventual impact of neglect. When Judy and Bob started fighting often, they each made a conscious decision to not fight if the children were home. Eventually, the habit of icy, silent arguments gave way to pretending the other person simply wasn’t there anymore. That’s when not fighting in a marriage led to not fighting for a marriage.
Judy said:
I tried so hard to not fight with Bob anymore but I couldn’t totally hide the anger. I wanted him to still know if I was angry. Instead of outright fighting, I’d give him dirty looks, snippy responses, all the signs that someone is really really annoyed. And he gave them right back. After a while though I stopped doing that, too. When I was angry, I just walked away. A while after that I realized I wasn’t even angry anymore. I was just tired and wanted it to be over with. I didn’t want to be married anymore.
Bob said:
Our fighting was affecting the kids, so we decided to not fight anymore in front of them. For a little while it was almost funny the ways we’d come up with to argue without having it look like we were arguing. It was kind of a fun game, but apparently I was the only one playing it. Judy stopped fighting and then she stopped caring. That’s when I knew I had to find a marriage counselor.
Marriage counseling helped Judy and Bob find the will to fight again, but productively, and they are still arguing about it.
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