Marriage Counselor Under Ultimatum 

Marriage counselors don’t always have the gift of time. While many situations lend themselves to long-term counseling and the time and space to heal years of damage, in premarital counseling couples often have a “no-go” date set in mind before they walk away.

When Darnell, an experienced marriage counselor, met Liane and Stuart, he knew he had little time and needed to work fast. Liane and Stuart were getting married in 6 months and the couple had decided that if their differences could not be worked out before then, they were canceling the wedding and walking away from each other. The whole situation was mined with stubborn feelings and ultimatums, none of which helped Darnell to do his job.

According to Stuart:

If I can’t stop this behavior right now, I know I’ll regret it the rest of my life and end up a miserable husband. Liane’s family is wealthy and she simply cannot get it through her head that we aren’t, and we need to work in a budget. I’ve had to take out loans twice to pay off her credit cards, and those are only the ones I know her parents didn’t pay off. She is wonderful and kind and I love her, but she’ll drive me into bankruptcy if this goes on.

The marriage counselor was able to set Liane up with a budget of her own that she was in charge of. Her homework was to honestly spend only what she could pay without relying on her family or her credit cards. After three months and a few slip-ups, Liane was asked if the spending was worth losing the man she loved, because that was the ultimate price should would pay.

Marriage counselors are often asked to fix things as soon as possible, though seldom is there a firm date set such as with this couple.

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