Marriage Focus Too Narrow
A marriage based on similar goals, interests and desires is a marriage that has a commonality between partners. That commonality can decrease the amount of friction and conflict between a couple and give them a head start on a lifelong relationship. When a marriage or long term relationship is based on a much more focused commonality, say one or two things, however, then that extreme focus can eventually become a barrier to a couple’s happiness.
Lynn and I loved to be physical active. Most of our two years dating was spent cycling, hiking and playing sports together. Our fourth date was at the gym for a Cardio class! We just had this great connection and I envisioned us eventually getting old and grey together, still hiking our favorite mountain pass, just a little more slowly.
When Lynn got pregnant we found all new classes and other ways to exercise that were healthy for a pregnant mom and we thought that, once the baby was born, we’d put him in a baby backpack and take him hiking too! Only that’s not how it worked out. Our son Caleb has a lot of allergies, and any extended period outdoors is too much for him. And Lynn, she just doesn’t seem to care about anything that we used to do together, she just wants to be home and be with Caleb. And I don’t want to hike alone. I want Lynn and the baby with me.
Jay and Lynn had based their relationship on the common love of exercise, the outdoors and physical fitness. While this sustained them through the life stage where it was feasible, the addition of a baby into their lives made a huge dent in the amount of time that they could spend with each other exercising.
Through marriage counseling, Jay and Lynn found new avenues of mutual goals and interests, as well as understanding the need to make time for the things that brought them together in the first place.
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One of the main factors could be the common interest that will keep them together for long. In this case I appreciate its the hobby that brings & keeps them together. It can be beyond that. It could be even the business they perform or the company they work together or could be any other similar things.
It also depends on the level of give and take that is happening between the couple. I would put more emphasize on this rather than anything else. If this doesnot fit then the marriage is likely to fail even if there are common interest.