Premarital Counseling is a Living Arrangement Alternative
Living together before marriage has become very common in many social and cultural circles. Most people say that it gives them a better understanding of what their partner is really like, 24 hours a day because, quite simply, you can’t put your “best face on” all the time, every day. Eventually the masque slips and the real person is revealed.
New studies are saying, however, that those who live together first are more likely to divorce, because they are moving in together for the wrong reasons.
In a recent article on CNN.com, one writer talked about her co-habitating experience:
When people say, “You never really know someone until you live with them,” they are speaking the truth. Even though Jeff and I had been dating for a year before we moved in, I had no idea I would discover so many new things about him
Our first major moving-in fight totally caught me off guard.
“I am going to take up more of the closet because I have four times as many clothes as you,” I laughed as we were unpacking.
“No, I want half of the closet. We share this place,” he said, not laughing.
“Are you serious right now?”
“Yes.” And he was.
Eventually the writer and her boyfriend broke up and went their separate ways, though the experience was a lasting one.
That’s why I’m very skeptical about the recent University of Denver study that suggests that couples who live together before marriage have a way better chance of getting divorced. Really? The study suggests that couples who cohabitate may be entering into marriage for the wrong reasons — like financial convenience, testing out the waters, or because of a “We’re already here, why not?” mentality
If you are concerned about the long term viability of your relationship and are considering living together as a “test drive,” look into pre-marital counseling as a way to investigate and resolve your issues before marriage.
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